One Day at a Time by Susan Lewis

Author:Susan Lewis
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781446474976
Publisher: Random House

Chapter Twelve

Eddie

I’VE BEEN HAVING a dreadful struggle with my faith, though the talks I’ve had with Canon Radford lately have gone a way towards helping. Losing our Robert came as such a terrible blow to us all. I just couldn’t make any sense of it, and I’m still not sure I can now. Or that I ever will. I know our Doreen and Alf won’t be able to, and I can’t help wondering how I’d be if I was in their shoes and Gary was taken in his prime. It hardly bears thinking about, which is why I try to project my mind out to the wider world, and the problems that should make my own seem very minor by comparison.

I often ask myself how we would all feel, here in England, if we were starving to death like the poor souls in Africa and South America. Or if we had riots on our doorsteps like they’re having in Los Angeles; or earthquakes like the one that’s just devastated thousands of homes and families in Iran. That’s not to say we don’t have problems here, because of course we do, just not on that sort of scale. What’s making headlines in our papers today is the number of Tories joining the National Front, and that maniac Enoch Powell who’s stirring up hatred for the blacks. As if they don’t suffer enough of it already, poor blighters. And then there’s the trouble brewing up in Ireland … How do any of them manage to sleep peacefully in their beds at night, I’d like to know, and I strongly suspect they don’t.

It’s no wonder I sit down and write as often as I can, when the very act of it calms and nourishes me like nothing else. As the words stream from my mind they settle on the page like the gentle notes of a musical score and I feel myself floating along in the melody, leaving all the angst and strife of my insignificant little life behind.

I’m in a tea shop at the moment, on a Saturday afternoon, with a cup of Nescaff next to my notepad and a chocolate biscuit in a saucer. A well-dressed lady is smoking at the next table to me. I see what people mean by having plenty of money; if you do you can eat anywhere, or drink and mix with just whoever you fancy. Our Susan could be like that one day.

I make a quick note to myself: Must work on my conscience as there are so many conscientious people about.

I’m hoping it might be easier to get our Susan back to school at the start of her second year, but sadly I can’t say I’m seeing any signs of it yet. If anything, being home for the summer seems to have settled her back in with us in a way that I fear means trouble when it’s time for her to go. Already I only have to mention that she should think about

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